Be Careful Who You Offend on the Way to Court

Bilek was furious that he had to go to municipal court today to contest his citation for reckless driving, after all, the stupid ones were all those other drivers who got in his way. Of course, Bilek left for court late so he had to speed it up to get there on time; no problem, Bilek was always in a hurry.

Two blocks from his office and he had already almost caused 3 accidents; well he had the right-of-way those stupid people better move it or lose it.

10 near misses later and 1 block from the courthouse, Bilek noticed a woman in black chevy making a left turn from the left turning lane. He would have to squeeze this stupid woman off and speed around her to get that parking space he spotted right across the street from the courthouse. He made it. It didn’t matter that it was a handicapped parking space, he had stolen a blue handicapped parking pass that he now put on his rear view mirror and jumped out of the car and raced to the courthouse door.

The stupid woman in the black chevy slammed on her brakes and honked at Bilek as he darted across the street mid-block nowhere near a cross walk. Bilek flipped her a bird, laughed and disappeared into the masses going to traffic court.

It was 4:10 PM, still no judge. What kind of crap was this, thought Bilek. Court is supposed to start at 4:00 PM. These government employees are leeches on the taxpaying public. At 4:12PM Bilek went up to the baliff and asked, “I guess the public trough is well filled, huh?” The baliff said, “Huh?” Bilek said. “Never mind, where’s the judge.?” The baliff said, “She’s late, she was almost killed in an accident on the way to court.”

Bilek said, “SHE!! You mean we have a skirt in this court. What’s justice coming to? "I don’t suppose you know if she’s having a bout of PMS today.” The baliff said, “Be careful sir, we require respect here!” Bilek sarcastically said, “Oh, excuse me marshall, I guess in this courtroom respect is more important than justice or promptness, huh!! There’s a hundred people in here, when’s my case going to be heard, you know I’m too busy for this crap?”

The baliff said, “Your turn will come sir, have a seat!” The baliff went into the judge's chambers adjacent to the courtroom, then came out and handcuffed Bilek. Bilek began screaming and kicking and was subdued by the baliff along with 2 other baliffs from other courts. They placed Bilek in what is called a hog-tie. His hands were cuffed behind him, his ankles were tied together with a nylon tie strip, then he was laid down on his stomach with his arms and legs drawn up behind him and secured together with another nylon tie. He was then dragged into the hall. After 10 minutes of fighting and struggling he was exhausted and was taken into a broom closet and left on his belly.

He could hear everything that was going on in court, the baliff said, “All rise, this court is now is session the Honorable Cathy Mills presiding.” The judge then proceeded to call the cases. Bilek began to scream after the 15th case. The judge ordered him gagged. So, here was Bilek, hogtied and gagged.

Two and a half hours later the judge called out Bilek’s name, his case was finally to be heard. It turned out that he was the last case. The baliff cut the nylon tie holding him in the hogtied position and cut the tie around his ankles. He stood up slowly, and the baliff ripped off the duct tape gag off his mouth.

The judge said, “Mr. Bilek, you stand charged with reckless driving, how do you plead, guilty or not guilty?” With terror in his eyes Bilek whispered “guilty” as he faced the judge who was the stupid woman in the black chevy.

Comeuppance